Author: Lauren Williams
Date: August 18, 2023

My oldest son Hunter is allergic to peanuts, eggs, sesame, dogs, cats, and pollen.

We first discovered his peanut and egg allergy when he was 4 months old. Starting at 6 weeks old, he was covered in eczema from head to toe. It was not going away, so we visited a pediatric dermatologist who recommended we visit an allergist. As allergies do not run in our family, we didn’t know that eczema could be a sign of an allergic reaction in infants. It was shocking when the allergist confirmed he was allergic to peanuts and eggs and that we had to start carrying an EpiPen for him. I had been breastfeeding and we made the decision to switch to formula.

I don’t think I truly understood what life with food allergies was going to be like. I remember the overwhelming guilt from thinking I’d been causing him discomfort from breastfeeding (now two kids later I understand and support the notion that “fed is best." When we were starting solids, I had to learn to not let family members feed him unless we knew exactly what was being served. I had to learn how to read every label. We adjusted what we ate around him (no more peanut butter or scrambled eggs) because he was so little and we were afraid of cross-contamination. We had to avoid sharing our food at restaurants, to always ask what ingredients were included and what oil was being used, and on and on. We were lucky that Hunter’s daycare provides all meals so we didn’t have to worry another student would bring in peanut butter for lunch. After 5 years, I can proudly say he never had an allergic reaction at school. It was difficult but we were in a good groove.

Then one day, we noticed hives after giving Hunter some hummus with lunch when visiting my parents. We immediately gave him Benadryl (per his action plan; every person’s action plan is different). A few minutes later the hives were gone and he was fine. A visit to the allergist confirmed an allergy to sesame, the fastest-growing allergen. This was slightly harder to navigate because at the time, food labels weren’t required to boldly highlight sesame like other major allergens. Then we discovered the dog allergy because he would break out in hives whenever we’d visit my mother-in-law, who has a black lab. That skin test also came back positive for allergies to cats and pollen. We updated everyone–school, grandparents, friends–and kept going.

When we had our second son, Parker, I was nervous he would also have food allergies, and maybe different ones. When we were ready to give Parker solids, we had him tested for the top 9 food allergens. He tested negative so was allowed to try more foods. We were advised to carefully provide him with the foods Hunter was allergic to. We tried peanut butter first, then brushed his teeth and carefully wiped his hands to avoid cross contamination with his brother. It was a new territory to navigate: how to balance Hunter having a sibling who ate his allergens. (*Note: not all families are okay with having a child’s allergens in the house. We did under the advice of our allergist).

When Hunter started getting invited to birthday parties, we faced new challenges. Some parents offer to purchase “allergy safe” foods, but unless it’s a brand we’ve eaten before, we’re more comfortable using our own food. Also, imagine if he did have a reaction at a party–I wouldn’t want that guilt sitting with another parent or child. So, we come prepared with a lunchbox for the meal and his own cupcake for dessert. We have safe go-to recipes, like one my aunt sent me for “Wacky Cake” (made popular during the Great Depression and WWII due to milk, egg, and butter rations) along with my mom’s homemade frosting.

Finding a babysitter has also been difficult. We only leave him with people we trust to be able to assess a situation, determine if he’s having an allergic reaction, and react appropriately. We’re lucky my parents and sister are willing to babysit 99% of the time we need to travel overnight. We also found some local babysitters who are trained in EpiPen, and now that Hunter is older and knows what he can and cannot eat, we’re starting to become comfortable doing parent date nights. 

Now Hunter is starting Kindergarten, which brings with it another layer of feelings on top of those that every parent experiences at this milestone. There’s a new fear that comes with sending him “out into the world” independently more than before. The extra meetings with his wonderful school nurse and teachers have helped, but we still feel a worry that is hard to explain. We never want to hinder other people’s rights for eating foods they like, but knowing my son could casually come in contact with something that could make him sick - or worse - is scary. We’re prepping him on how to eat lunch and snacks safely.  

I was explaining to Hunter that I was writing this article and asked him if he wanted to share anything. He told me that it’s scary but mom and dad make it okay. I asked if he’s ever felt left out from things his friends have gotten to do. He said no. And honestly, as long as he’s safe and happy, that’s all any parent can really ask for.